Just One Girl

Dear The One,

Ha, yeah. Sorry. I've been living life. Lame excuse. It's been two months since I last wrote you. I'm sorry about that.

Things have been everywhere, and I mean it. All over all the where's. Truly every "where." I've been looking for you sunset and sunup. I was on tinder, I was so desperate. Dang it, Tinder! Why do you waste my time with your uselessness! And my desperation. Ah, heck. I don't even know what I'm saying.

The thing is, I'm certain I've been driven by something that shouldn't have a license. At least not one for me. What's driving me wasn't so sincere. It was insecurity. I cant live alone without love. That's what it would tell me. I wasn't lonely as a servant of God, go figure. He fills all those gaps. Without a constant diet of God, I've had some problems with darkness. It comes forward in diabolical, massively controlling loneliness... How can it have so much power?

I don't want to live this way, neither does God, and neither do you. You'd want me to be strong and independent, not babbling over the first chance to be held. Especially if I'm not babbling about you.

I have this image of you like Esther in my mind. Beautiful, naturally so. Deep spirituality, the kind which carries a woman and those around her into the eternities. The powerful kind. Courage to overcome the most heinous of circumstance, faith to head God, intelligence to outwit, determination to persevere, and love to overcome all.

Like Esther: Who's to say that you haven't come forth for a time like this? I hope to be what you have come for and be what you need. Like David--no Bathsheba. Like Samson--without Delilah. Like me--and you. Like the Sarah to my Abraham. Except I'm totally not as cool as Abraham. Like the Esther I need, and the strength to wait until that day comes. I want to be with you, The Right Person, at the Right Time, in the Right Place. God give me the courage to wait for you, I pray.

I'm still looking for you because there's just One girl for me.

And I hope I'm the one for you.

D&C 88:40

Onward and Upward,

Aaron